It’s Kim again! Thanks for coming along with me on my journey as I tell you about my experience with drugs, mental health, and recovery.
My last post was about how I progressed from ayahuasca to magic mushrooms. Soon I was going to music festivals whenever I could and had a new group of friends who were as obsessed with hallucinogenic drugs as I was.
I started changing my hair and clothes, and even how I talked. I was morphing into a different person. Instead of the jeans and hoodies, I always wore before, I was wearing long, flowing skirts and tie-dye shirts. I stopped brushing my hair in an attempt to get dreadlocks like so many people at the festivals had, but mostly it just turned into a tangled mess. My parents noticed I was acting different but thought it was just “a phase” I was going through.
My grades were slipping, and I was losing my friends at school, even Zach, who was worried about me. He said he didn’t know why I was messing with other drugs when they are so different from ayahuasca. He also said his last time with ayahuasca had frightened him and he wasn’t going to do it ever again.
I didn’t care, though, as long as I was still able to go to the shows and find more drugs.
I liked mushrooms, but my favorite was acid. I would say it was in between mushrooms and ayahuasca, but more similar to mushrooms. If I only took a little, the world melted, and I got to see the crazy colors and patterns. If I took more, I got to totally lose my mind and have an out of the body, out of this world experience. It still wasn’t like ayahuasca, but it was awesome.
There were times when I would wake up in a tent next to someone I didn’t know, or I would forget how long it had been since I’d eaten or gone to the bathroom. Losing touch with reality was fun, but came a cost and wasn’t exactly safe. I look back on it now and shudder at how foolish I was to go alone to those shows and do mind-altering substances without anyone to watch or take care of me. I’m lucky something worse didn’t happen.
Keep reading to find out what happened next.