We are getting near the end of my story. Thanks for keeping up with me so far.
In my last post, I described how I became obsessed with going to festivals and doing LSD and magic mushrooms. It was my favorite thing in life. Actually, it became the only thing I enjoyed in life. I loved detaching from reality and feeling the world melt around me.
Scientists are torn on whether or not hallucinogenic drugs are actually addictive, but the general consensus is that while the body may build up a tolerance, it will not crave mushrooms or LSD or anything like that the same way the body gets addicted to heroin or cocaine. But a person can develop an emotional or psychology dependency on hallucinogens, which is still an addiction.
Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was definitely psychologically dependent on LSD. And I didn’t realize how dangerous that could be.
I started to notice that even when I wasn’t at a festival or on drugs, I could still feel the effects sometimes. I would be in class staring at a wall when it would start to melt a little. Or I would be listening to music and could see the notes that were being played.
At first, I thought this was cool and didn’t mind it. I thought I could even control it a little. If I got bored in class, I would just fix my gaze at a point in the distance until my vision blurred and it started to feel trippy. It was like a superpower; I could get high at any time!
Then the hallucinations when I hadn’t even taken drugs became stronger and more frequent. Once I went to the bathroom at school and the next thing I knew the bell had rung for the end of the day. I had literally sat on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, staring at the stall door and hallucinating as people came and went from the stalls around me, for hours.
I was started to get scared, but it didn’t stop me from doing acid still.
Finally, I reached a point of a psychotic break.
I don’t remember what actually happened because I was hallucinating, but my parents told me later.
I was at school and had started to hallucinate again. This time I wasn’t sitting anywhere quietly, though. I was seeing visions of monsters and dragons that I had to fight off with a sword. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant; it just felt like a videogame. In reality, though, I had stood up in a classroom and started violently attacking other students.
Keep reading to learn what happened next.