Category Archives: Festivals Stories

Festivals are about drugs – true

In my last post, I told you a bit about my experience with ayahuasca on the beach in Mexico with my friend Zach when I was fifteen. That experience changed my life, but not in the way I was expecting. It opened the doors for my obsession with hallucinogenic drugs, which eventually led to my psychotic break.

When we got back from our school trip to Mexico, I wanted to try other drugs to see if I could have a similar experience. I felt so alive and different after trying ayahuasca. I thought if I could feel that way from the one drug just one time, how will other drugs make me feel?

I wasn’t interested in cocaine or ecstasy or anything like that. To me, those were “real” or “hardcore” drugs. In my mind, I categorized hallucinogens as “natural” and “safe,” even though in reality hallucinogens are often anything but natural or safe.

I read online and found out from friends that the closest I would be able to get to something like ayahuasca at home would be magic mushrooms or LSD. I hadn’t heard of these before, except when we learned about Woodstock in a history class one time. I knew some of the greatest artists and musicians were known for their use of LSD, like The Grateful Dead and Jimi Hendrix.

I wondered where I could go to find this stuff. I landed on attending music festivals, which were notorious for drug use.

I found a Grateful Dead cover band that was playing an outdoor festival at the start of summer break and bought my ticket. I drove out to the remote area where the festival was and got excited about my next trip.

It was almost laughably easy to find mushrooms at the festival. People were eating, selling, and sharing them like crazy. I traded a grilled cheese sandwich and a few bucks for my first bag of mushrooms.

They tasted awful, and I learned to stick them in a sandwich or some other food to mask the foul flavor. I remembered that ayahuasca had tasted terrible too, and took it as a good sign.

Soon, the colors and patterns started to emerge. It wasn’t quite like ayahuasca, though. It was a less intense experience all around. I didn’t throw up, but I didn’t see visions of my ancestors or spirit animals either. It was just like the world was more colorful and playful and fun, and the music sounded gorgeous. In some ways, I liked it better than ayahuasca because I was able to cling to reality and just enjoy the melting colors and sounds around me. But I was also disappointed that I wasn’t gaining all the knowledge and wisdom I felt like I had gotten from the ayahuasca.

Keep reading to find out how I chased my high until I landed in a psych ward.

..and then I came to LSD, of course

It’s Kim again! Thanks for coming along with me on my journey as I tell you about my experience with drugs, mental health, and recovery.

My last post was about how I progressed from ayahuasca to magic mushrooms. Soon I was going to music festivals whenever I could and had a new group of friends who were as obsessed with hallucinogenic drugs as I was.

I started changing my hair and clothes, and even how I talked. I was morphing into a different person. Instead of the jeans and hoodies, I always wore before, I was wearing long, flowing skirts and tie-dye shirts. I stopped brushing my hair in an attempt to get dreadlocks like so many people at the festivals had, but mostly it just turned into a tangled mess. My parents noticed I was acting different but thought it was just “a phase” I was going through.

My grades were slipping, and I was losing my friends at school, even Zach, who was worried about me. He said he didn’t know why I was messing with other drugs when they are so different from ayahuasca. He also said his last time with ayahuasca had frightened him and he wasn’t going to do it ever again.

I didn’t care, though, as long as I was still able to go to the shows and find more drugs.

I liked mushrooms, but my favorite was acid. I would say it was in between mushrooms and ayahuasca, but more similar to mushrooms. If I only took a little, the world melted, and I got to see the crazy colors and patterns. If I took more, I got to totally lose my mind and have an out of the body, out of this world experience. It still wasn’t like ayahuasca, but it was awesome.

There were times when I would wake up in a tent next to someone I didn’t know, or I would forget how long it had been since I’d eaten or gone to the bathroom. Losing touch with reality was fun, but came a cost and wasn’t exactly safe. I look back on it now and shudder at how foolish I was to go alone to those shows and do mind-altering substances without anyone to watch or take care of me. I’m lucky something worse didn’t happen.

Keep reading to find out what happened next.